My sweet mother

 

In January of 2018 my mother had a heart attack and had to have triple bypass surgery. The day she had her heart attack I was speaking with her on the phone as she was helping my sister sort and pack clothing because they were moving. (My parents drove from Alabama to Maryland to help my sister's family and pick up some furniture while there.) While on the phone with her she described having pain in her shoulders and neck, nausea and exhaustion. I told her she should get a massage and didn't realize these were signs of a heart attack.  My dad went to the basement to see her and when they tried to go up the stairs, she couldn't move. They called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. While there, they found that she had three blocked arteries and that she would need triple bypass surgery. It was a shock to everyone, even my mom. She had always had high blood pressure but she tried her best to eat what she felt was a healthy diet and exercise regularly. We were all scared as she went in for surgery, one that is done often and has a great success rate, yet is also a very big risk and serious surgery. We felt it was a blessing that she was in Maryland at the time of her heart attack because she might have a better surgeon there and my sister, Laurel wouldn't have to sacrifice her schooling to help. My parents moved to Alabama to help watch Laurel's children while she attended an intense one year course to become a pta. If my mom had been in Alabama, Laurel would have likely dropped out of the course to be there for my mom and dad. After fasting and praying as a family we were grateful that the surgery went well and our mother, was on her road to recovery.

I call my mom often, we like to chat and I like her advice and sweet voice on the other end of the line. The next few months we talked often about her recovery and she told me that during a stress test they found that her heart was not functioning as well as it should be after surgery. She said the doctors wanted her to go in for a catheterization so they could see with a camera what her arteries looked like. I suggested, and she agreed, that she not go in for the catheterization until after a family reunion in June. We planned our Capson family reunion to take place in Alabama that year and everyone would be attending, except for our three missionaries, Ambria, Clayne and Dallin.  Our reunion was so much fun, (see previous post). My mom busily took care of everyone, cooking and cleaning per usual, even though she was weak and tired from her heart condition. She never complained and always wore a smile.

After our family reunion my mom went in for the catheterization and they found that all of the bypasses failed, one was 80% blocked and the other two were completely blocked. She would need another open heart surgery. Again, we were shocked to hear this, but we were all confident that things would be "ok." We thought she would have surgery, just as she did before and this time it would work. She went in for quadruple bypass surgery on June 26, 2018 and I thought of her all day, watching my phone for updates. After hours of waiting to hear the outcome of the surgery, and they continually extending the surgery, my heart sank when I heard that they were calling my dad and sisters, Laurel and Heather into a room to talk. They were unable to take my mom's heart off of the bypass machine, it was too weak and could not pump all the blood that was now flowing to her heart. This was not the "ok" we were thinking of but we all knew, without a doubt that she would be "ok," more than "ok" as she is happy beyond measure in her heavenly home. 

My mother had everything in life to make her happy and proud... a family who loves one another and loves the gospel, 28 beautiful grandchildren and a husband who holds her hand, sits by her side, and takes walks with her often. When I think upon the life she lived, I am amazed by how much she sacrificed and never thought of herself. She was always found doing good and serving others. I think of her sweet smile her humility and love for the Lord. She lived the gospel everyday, since the day she joined the church at age 19. I am proud of my mom for choosing the gospel, when her parents did not and were alcoholics. I remember her reading the friend magazine to me, teaching me to pray and encouraging me to serve a mission. My heart aches when I think of her and how I can't call her and I won't be seeing her at our next family reunion, or my child's baby blessing. It is hard to think of those things, and yet the spirit comforts me and an inexplicable smile comes across my face as I think of her in Heaven, greeting her family who have passed, busily serving her mission on the other side of the veil. I know she is happy there and is watching over our family on earth.

I had a sweet revelation just a few days after her passing.  I decided to attend the Temple with Benjamin and remembered that my mom had called me a few weeks prior and asked me about a family name, Amelia, that I had reserved but had not finished the work for. As I remembered and decided that I would finish her work that day, I felt strongly that my mom would be there with, Amelia as I served as proxy for her. I had always wanted to work with my mom on family history and now we can be companions, as we work on each side of the veil. Finding a way to connect with my mom brings me so much joy and inspires me to do my family history work with greater devotion.

My mother's funeral was held in Idaho, because we have family there and that is where my mom was looking for plots before she had passed away.  My dad grew up in Idaho, and all of her children have now moved away from Connecticut, even though, that is where she was born and raised and where she raised her children. We received so many thoughtful notes from those who love her in Connecticut and it meant so much to our family.  The funeral was held on July 7, 2018 at the Hawker Funeral Home. I couldn't help but feel how special it was that it was held on 7/7. My mother's favorite number was 7, she was born on March 7th, married on April 7th and had 7 children. Everything worked out just the way should would want it to.  The service was beautiful, the flowers were peach, yellow and pink, her favorite colors. My father and I chose an oak casket that we were certain she would love. The music was lovely, especially the violin solo of Jessica, a girl who lived with my parents while attending Juliard School of Music. My mom loved the violin and had each of her children learn to play it. In her 60's my mom decided to take lessons herself, from Jessica, while she lived in their home.

I will remember this day and the sweet memories of my mom forever. I feel so blessed to have her as my mom and I hope to carry on her legacy as I live the gospel and serve others with joy and love.

 

 

 

We planted a hydrangea tree from the grand kids in my sister Shara's yard. It is our "grandma tree"

 

Most of our family stayed at my sister, Shara's home while in  Idaho for the funeral. She and her family were so gracious to have us and it was a sad yet sweet time having all of us together again for a second family reunion.  

Idaho Falls fireworks show

Finn sat with Grandpa to watch the fireworks the entire time. It was sweet that he kept him company.

 

  

 We attended the Rexburg Temple together as a family since the Idaho Falls Temple, where my parents were married was closed.

 

 

  

Ben brought his candy catapult for the kids!

 

We visited the graves of my dad's parents and grandparents while there.

 

My mother's obituary:

It is with great sadness that the family of Darleen Capson announces her passing after heart complications, on June 26, 2018, at the age of 71.
Darleen was born March 7, 1947 in Rockville, Conn., the only child of John George Reinertsen and Doris Hazel Helm Reinertsen. Darleen was loved and cared for by her parents and many close and distant relatives.  

At the age of 18, Darleen was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Soon after, she left Conn. to study at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, where she met her eternal companion, Lloyd Earl Capson of Blackfoot, Idaho. They were married on April 7, 1970 in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple. They spent the first few years of their marriage in the Blackfoot, Idaho and Orem, Utah areas. In 1975 they moved to Conn. to be closer to Darleen's parents. They quickly settled in South Windsor, Conn. where they spent the next 42 years raising their eternal family and building everlasting friendships.  

In 2016 they left Conn. to travel the country and visit their children and grandchildren. They spent 2016 visiting children and extended family. In 2017 they settled in Anniston, Ala. to be close to a daughter and grandchildren. They were only there a short time but were welcomed in by the people and they quickly grew to love them as family.  

Darleen was preceded in death by her parents and is survived by her husband Lloyd, their 7 children, Darlaina (Jeff), Jared (Natalie), Shara (Troy), Laurel, Stephen (Elizabeth), Heather, Britney (Ben), and 28 grandchildren.  

Darleen lived a faithful life, with an unwavering testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Her life was a life of service. She loved everyone and spent her time here on earth serving her family and everyone around her. Darleen was best friends with her husband and gave everything for her children. She will be forever loved, remembered and missed. We know she only leaves us because her heart of service is needed on the other side. We look forward to the day we will be with her again.
Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Saturday, July 7th, 2018 with a viewing prior to the service from 9:30-10:30 a.m. at the Hawker Funeral Home, 132 South Shilling Ave, Blackfoot, ID 83221. Following the funeral, her body will be laid to rest at the Grove City Cemetery, Blackfoot ID.
Condolences to the family may be sent to www.hawkerfuneralhome.com.